Tuesday, April 18, 2006


Saw my first bumble of the season tonight. It's been a bad week, so I picked up some plants while I was at the grocery store tonight. Came home, negotiated a later dinner-time with Pukka, and soon was happily grubbing about in the dirt. And there he was, fat and happy, buzzing about ridiculously, looking for something to eat. Tonight I'll pray for him that it doesn't freeze anymore this spring.

Bumblebees always remind me of toddlers. They're pudgy and inept in similar ways. Same ferocious temper if you cross them. Both are fond of bright colors. And both are full of impossibilities . . .

Friday, April 14, 2006

we're fine

I've repeated these words so many times today, and I've been so grateful to say them:

We're fine.
The house is fine.
Those we know and love are fine.

The weather here over the last few days has been in the 80s and into the 90s. In April. That's not right. And when the weather's not right, bad things happen.

The carnage is just unbelievable. And I think I aged Pukka at least five years by being across town when the storm hit. I got to spend over an hour in the basement of a coffee shop with some friends and complete strangers. Fun times.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006


Growing up, all of us kids were expected to help out in the garden. There were two primary topics of conversation in the garden. The first: "Where did all these rocks come from? I thought we cleared them all out last year." And the second: "Worms are Our Friends"

See, PJ & I both went through phases (probably repeatedly) where we were grossed out by the little guys. Dad would patiently walk us through all the beneifts the worms gave us, loosening the soil, providing fertilizer, etc.

These days I have my own yard, and the digging is done voluntarily. In all of the digging of done so far this spring, I've found worms in plenitude, and they always make me smile. Fortunately, not so many rocks.

Thursday, April 06, 2006


We first saw our house last April. I have vague memories of seeing the remains of spring bulbs along the east side of the house then. This year, when spring began, I went around to check for sprouts. Sure enough, there they were, and there were just tons of them.

Every weekday morning for the past several weeks, when my alarm would go off, I'd grumble a bit, put my glasses on, stand up and peek out through the blinds to see if I had any flowers. And every morning so far, the answer has been, "not yet."

On Saturday, I made a closer inspection. I wasn't certain what exactly I was looking at -- maybe daffodils, but the leaves weren't pointed at the top. Not wide enough to be tulips. Too tall to be most of the other spring bulbs I'm familiar with. And then the little voice in the back of my head said, "Isn't that where the surprise lilies bloomed last summer?"

Checked with Google and mom, and sure enough, that's what they are. The foliage should die back later this spring, and then I'll be back to waiting, waiting, waiting until they finally decide to bloom.

In August.

Sunday, April 02, 2006


Remember when I used to post? Wasn't that nice?

I've got excuses, but I don't know what the reasons are. The words just won't come these days. I have things to say, but so many of them are beyond my ability to express.

Pukka's back is f-ed up beyond belief. For the last month or six weeks or so, it's been questionable on any given day whether or not he'll actually make it to work. It's screwing with our relationship. It's hard to see him in pain and be unable to do anything about it. It's been stressful worrying about money. Although we've got enough savings for now, it's not going to last indefinitely. So much time wasted dealing with doctors and insurance and bills. I'm tired of it -- tired of putting a good face on things, tired of handling the house on my own, tired of not knowing when it will ever end.

Work's a challenge. It's good for me to be in charge of something more than Pukka and the kitties, but it is a stressor. So many crises every day, so much politics to play. But at the same time it's good -- almost every day I'm called to find my assertive voice and use it, and that's definitely some practice I could use.

So yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'll just write regardless, which is pretty much what you got today. Not everything has to be pretty, yeah?

In the meantime, I think I'm going to go to the store and get some new cabinet hardware. I need a project that can be done with minimal fuss so that I can feel like I've accomplished something.