When you don't have any choice

Ten years ago, I was engaged to be married. I had some doubts about getting married, but I told myself that this was a serious commitment and I had good reason to have second thoughts.

So I thought I would talk to some people who were married, get their perspective. I wanted to get their feedback on how they had decided to marry their spouse. Since my parents were pretty easily accessible, I started with them. After all, at that point they'd been married almost twenty-five years.

I approached my mom one night when I was visiting home and asked her why she'd married my father. The first words out of her mouth? "Some days, I just don't know."

When I went to dad and asked him the same question about mom, the first thing he said was, "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Of course they both went on to say other things, but it was their first reaction I still remember ten years later. At the time, I thought it was kind of sad. I had been hoping for stories of love and romance.

In any case, I didn't end up getting married ten years ago, although I'm not sure that my parents' stories had anything to do with it.

However, a little over a month ago, I married a wonderful man, and I think I may finally understand what my parents were trying to tell me.

You see, Pukka and I reached a point in our relationship where we had to be together. Some days we don't particulary like each other, and some days we wish the other would just leave us alone. But none of that changed the fact that we both felt like we were better off with the other than without.

Unfortunately, none of that means either of us can vocalize a good reason why we decided to be together. A few weeks before the wedding, I heard Pukka tell a friend he was marrying me because he "didn't have any choice." It's good to know someday he'll be able to horrify our own children when they want to know why we got married.